was just about to go to sleep when i realized that it is my one-month anniversary living in russia! definitely a date to be marked. it feels simultaneously like i've been here forever, and just the blink of an eye. i suppose that is typical of very intensive experiences. and not only am i getting used to the country, the language, but i'm also getting used to a new job. new personalities. new politics. and finding my way when there really isn't a road map to follow...it's not like there is a "wrap report" from the segment producer on the last opening ceremonies! i feel like i'm "faking it until i make it." having never done this job before, it's a little strange. but i've project managed, and been in similar situations, so it's not totally unfamiliar. but it would be nice to have a job description. on the other hand, i can kinda do what i want, and if i pretend it's what i'm supposed to be doing, people believe it! i'm in the creative/producer dept. so, well, anything goes, really. and it's all about relationships. so the majority of my time is spent getting to know people, gaining their trust, their respect. even in social situations, like the georgian dinner...we were sizing each other up, it was as much work as it was play. but things are starting to move a bit, i'm getting projects and learning how to build and manage the LARGEST budget i have EVER done. like, big numbers. bigger than i will probably EVER make, combined, in my working career. so that's exciting! and a lot of other things are exciting, but you're just going to have to wait to see them on Feb 7. and also likely on the 23rd! as i'm probably going to be working a bit on the closing ceremonies as well! fun times!
as for learning about this country...it's a slow process. like i've said before, i wish i could pick up the language more quickly. it's just SO foreign. i didn't study russian history or literature besides what they discuss in survey courses in high school. so there is barely anything i have to go on in my past. at least spanish and sometimes french are taught on sesame street. those pronunciations and sounds are kinda familiar. russian? nah. no way. the liquidity of the language, the words, as people speak makes it SO hard for me to discern the specific words. and so many words are single letters...c (or s) is "with," b (or v) is "in," so when they are next to words that start with the same letter, there is no separating them. makes it hard. and the pronunciation is difficult for me. daily, i try to practice words that i know. all i get are cocked heads, quizzical looks. and then i ask how to pronounce the word, and my russian colleagues say it. and i'm like, "yeah! that's what i said!" but they sadly shake their heads, or smirk a bit. all out of love, and they like that i'm trying, so much. but i'm not doing very well. ha ha! all in good time. at least it's not chinese. but my aunt, who speaks fluent chinese, is married to a man from taiwan, says russian is harder than chinese. great.
anyway, i'm still very glad i'm here. even tho, one month in, reality is setting in. and it's hard to communicate, the wonder and the humorousness are waning...now it's just plain hard. i feel crippled and helpless sometimes. and i have such a newfound respect for our russian colleagues who speak english. they have big jobs...not only are they doing their job, but they are also translating for us...and translating not just the words, but the culture, the way of doing things, the governmental "strategies" and "practices." it is nice to be working with people who, yes, have a profound (if motivated by fear) respect for the government, but also know the reality of the kind of state they are living in. there's no defending the motherland going on here...at least politically.
ok, didn't mean to get so wordy. but it's a good time for reflection. what i've learned...i can say hello, thank you, please, i don't understand, do you understand english, how to count to 10, a few colors and verbs, a few nouns here and there...i can read better than i can speak, which is amazing, cuz it's also REALLY hard to read..they have "letters" that are just indicators of how to pronounce the letter that comes before them. but they don't actually make any sound, i think. and then, other letters change how they are pronounced in various words, seemingly randomly to me, but i'm sure there's logic. i'm starting with a russian language tutor next week and i can hardly wait. the overachiever in me is dying a little bit right now that i haven't mastered hardly anything! :) so this is a good lesson for me, or rather good practice in patience and going easy on myself. i just don't want to walk away from here, having been here a year, and only know please and thank you and how to count to 10. i was in paris a week and i could communicate WAY more. (tho they also smirked and gave me quizzical looks...).
anyway, time for bed. likely doing more budgeting tomorrow, which means i need a clear head. and i'll probably make some flashcards. i'll never stop being an overachiever. :)
goodnight to all my lovely friends and family back home wherever you are. please send warm thoughts my way, as i try to make my home (if temporary) here in this crazy big foreign land. love to you all. xo
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