Love In A Box

i got a package today!!!!!!  from my lovely and generous friends matt and maren mullin in park city.  my friends in park city are fantastic.  they divided up the time i am gone and agreed to each send a package once/month.  so kind and sweet and full of love! i am a lucky gal.  today's package had all kinds of fun surprises.  tasty treats, practicalities (like office supplies, gummy vitamins, and a quick-clot cloth sponge.  hopefully i will never need that sponge!!  :)  ), and comfort things such as burt's bees foot lotion and spa socks.  too sweet.  i immediately shared the treats with my office-mates...making one of the russians eat a peep...he's never seen them before, and he liked it!  so much love coming from one little box.  well, one very generous box!!  and a big thank you to russian customs for letting it get to me!  fingers crossed the package from my mom will be just as lucky!

tonight was a very emotional night in room 1441-1443.  Big Fish was on the tv...on one of the few english-channel stations on my hotel tv.  the other english stations are the expected news stations, and of course, eurosport!  so, i can watch dramatic news magazine shows, the nordic combined, or whatever random movie is on the movie channel. and tonight it was Big Fish.  i love that film.  it's one of the few that i actually own.  i cry every time i see it, and tonight was no exception.  it is a film about learning to forgive, learning to see, learning to love.  a son learning to understand, and forgive and love his father.  such a sweet film.  it's not perfect, but i love it, probably because of that.  and it has the sweetest song from pearl jam as the credits role..."man of the hour."  and it always makes me think of my parents.  and how much i love them.  and how much i don't want to lose them.  i believe we will all live forever and ever and ever.  cuz i can't bear thinking about it any other way.  i admit it, i was reminded of how important it is to love...from a digital box in my hotel room.

and then i downloaded a bunch of music (ok, it was all pearl jam) and some other movies about living and loving to the fullest...Buck, the documentary about an amazingly kind and generous horse-trainer, and Beasts of the Southern Wild.  whenever i hear pearl jam i think of my high school friends, and my dear friend seamus who lives in berlin with his family, but mostly about my brother-in-law brian who probably loves pearl jam almost as much as he loves my sister.  ha ha!  so tonight i'm listening to pearl jam on repeat...the songs "man of the hour" and "just breathe."

and i'm thinking about my fantastic cousin ariana, who writes a blog that was more than a little inspiring for me to keep this one, and who is thriving from depression.  i say thriving, because she is, to me, right now, the opposite of suffering.  she has done that.  she has suffered, but right now it seems like she is taking all these lessons she has learned in the past year through her struggles and is thriving from them. learning to love and forgive and understand herself, her family and friends, and the world around her.  and i'm loving being reminded to do those things, too, by reading about her journeys.

whew!!  ok, enough emotional talk.  i can't blow my nose anymore tonight!  here are some fun pics from my package from maren and matt.  like i said, so much love from that little box.

so happy to see this!!

even happier to see this!!!  and so was my colleague mike, who has been craving cookies!

kirill enjoying his first peep! he sits across from me, and we work closely together on the big show.

office supplies!!!  including the cutest tape measure i have ever seen.  nice work gallery mar!

this is just for fun...this is what i was doing when the argentinian pope was announced last night...even though i'm not catholic, or anything else hardly, it still is quite a historical event, and important to many people in my life, therefore important to me, too.  and i won't forget where i was when it happened!

oh i'm a lucky man, to count on both hands

the ones i love...

some folks have just one, 

yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh...

those are some of the lyrics from "just breathe"...and yes, i am a lucky one indeed.  i have a lot of ones i love.

Happy Maslenitsa!

so this is one of those holidays that is a crashing together of pagan and christian theology.  or tradition.  or ritual. or whatever.  it's the celebration of the end of winter/the coming of spring, and ALSO the end of gorging yourself on winter treats and the start of lent.  orthodox lent that happens before orthodox easter.  if nothing else, this country has taught me that there is a massive difference between orthodox and catholic theology.  ok, i mean, i know there was a DIFFERENCE.  but i had no idea what it was.  and it's funny, cuz the study of WHY religions are different is very interesting to me.  i'm very interested in the cultural reasoning, or the traditions and why they remain, the rituals, what keeps people glued together, or tears them apart.

had a very interesting evening.  so this week is "maslenitsa," the holiday, as stated above, celebrating the onset of spring, and the beginning of lent.  during this week, lots of blinis are consumed.  and i'm sure many other things, but tonight, our hotel honored it by serving complimentary blinis (like a crepe) with different sauces (honey, chocolate, sour cream).  a very traditional russian food.  and also some vodka!!  cuz what's a russian holiday without vodka.  so we had cranberry flavored vodka and pepper flavored vodka.  and blinis.  and they brought in a traditional singing group...three women dressed in medieval costume...beautiful costumes, with lace headdresses.  and an accordian player. they sang for more than an hour.  and traipsed around the hotel bar, pointing out men and singing to them, about them, for them, in russian.  and bringing several men up "onstage" to dance with them, dress them, etc. very fun.  very tourist, of course, but we ate it up.  and we all got pens with matrushka dolls on them.  and there was a raffle, and my colleague and friend julie-anne (canadian) won a matrushka doll set!  yes, all out of a movie about tourists in russia, but fun none-the-less, and when you are sitting a a table with the GM and the COO of the hotel, and they are bringing you free drinks, you clap and enjoy yourself!  so we did.

and we also had a very interesting conversation with the COO of the hotel (a 5-start Marriott hotel), who is Greek, but raised in London.  he has been at this hotel for 1.5 years.  previous to that, he was in abu dhabi, and then in saudi arabia.  he has fascinating stories about the service industry in both countries.  and the division of wealth in saudi arabia.  and the fact that abu dhabi basically funded dubai.  and that the real money is in abu dhabi.  and it actually made me curious to go there, whereas i had NO desire beforehand.  i am not a hotel person.  i'm not a luxury person.  but it fascinates me that a place that was strictly bedouin, nomadic, and temporary only 1-2 generations ago is now quickly becoming the financial heartbeat of the world...and even the cultural one!!  cuz they can buy it!!  so i kinda wanna see if for myself.  i wanna see the place that can BUY the bolshoi theatre company and transplant it to the desert.  or buy all the picasso's in the moma and transplant them to the desert.  and watch people flock there to see it.  a woman we are working with is producing a festival there to honor the bedouin roots...almost thinking a trip for the weekend to attend the festival and see the place would be worth it.  anyway, a very cool evening of education, and stimulation and learning.  this is why i came here.  for nights like this.  and the pancakes and vodka, of course!

so here are some photos from the eve:

julie-anne (canada), mike (utah) and myself with our matrushka doll pens.

about to enjoy some cranberry vodka and blini with honey!

vodka and blini (with sour cream for mike)

colleagues enjoying maslenitsa!

the traditional singers

yannis (a latvian/russian by way of england colleague of ours). the only guy in the audience that understood russian, so they of course chose him to go in front of the crowd.

yannis getting dressed up like a proper gentleman.  i actually have no idea what the song means that they were singing, but they were dressing him up in a hat, then a jacket...

then made him put on pants...

and now he has the whole outfit...they even gave him a prop pipe to smoke.  then they undressed him, and before giving his own coat back, asked for a gift...he didn't know what to do until we all yelled "give them a KISS!" and he finally got it...so he kissed them each on the cheek and they gave his coat back.  very funny.  and they were gorgeous girls, too, so i think he actually got the better bargain.

they chose three more men in the crowd to dance with...my friend mike is the one in the white shirt.

julie-anne's prize matrushka doll!

the winning ticket!

so all-in-all was a wonderfully surprising evening.  one of those when you're not quite sure what will happen, but you know you should stick around...and it paid off.  if even to learn more about doing business in the middle east!  so off to bed now, to dream of matrushka dolls dancing in bedouin tents in saudi arabia.  

PS - and SUPER CONGRATS to my friend bridgette, who's book URGENT ARCHITECTURE was just published, and she's having a book party at Gallery Mar in Park City tonight!! (well, Tuesday night in PC).  big hugs to all the pc gang.  and massive high fives to bridgette who will live on in green architecture infamy.  much love to you my friend!

Vodka!

i realize that i have not yet written about my visit to the russian vodka museum in st petersburg!  so, while this weekend after the ballet, didn't really hold anything crazy-interesting, i thought i'd backtrack to record the vodka museum.  it is really just an excuse to have a lot of vodka in one place and charge people to "tastings"...the tastings are of russian standard vodka...a decent one, but one you can find anywhere here.  so while you do get to try three different kinds (plain, silver, and gold standard), you could do that yourself in your kitchen.  but you get traditional russian snacks, too, which is kinda fun.  and then you're buzzed, so you go eat in the attached restaurant which isn't that great, but it seems so, cuz there are hundreds of kinds of vodka and after that official "tasting" you feel like an expert so you try more!  and buy a bunch of souvenirs like magnets that say "drinking of alcoholic beverages ALLOWED."  and also decorated wooden cases for small bottles of vodka shaped like soldiers, maidens, priests, santa clause, a snowman, and a christmas tree.  irresistible!

at the ice bar (not functional) outside the museum/restaurant.

vodka decanters!  or, well, fancy holders.  i think they are gorgeous.

classy shot glasses...

and a bit less classy...but still pretty cool.

wooden bottle-holders!  i bought the christmas tree and a beautiful maiden.

pretty self-explanatory...the show of power of russia is alive and well even in it's bottle design...

the "tasting" with traditional snacks!  tasty pickle.  less tasty pork fat on brown bread.  least tasty, onions, smoked fish and egg on brown bread.  dad would have loved it tho!

vashe zdrovye!

this is the list of vodka you can order.  

fabulous.

and this is the magnet that says "drinking of alcoholic beverages is allowed."  don't worry, i bought several.  :)

Entertainment

after last weekend's eating extravaganza, i decided to switch gears this weekend and spend my rubles on entertainment!  and this being international women's day, we had the day off!  which meant we could go out late-night last night!  so we did.

when i first found out that i got this job, i posted on facebook asking for anyone with any friends or connections in moscow.  one of the first people to respond was my friend rachelle, a fabulous musician in nyc.  she connected me with her friend varvara, a music producer and club-owner in moscow.  it was her club's 4th anniversary last night, and she invited me to join.  i dragged along a few italians, a couple russians, and a canadian with me and we had a BLAST.  the club is less a dance club, more like a 30's style jazz club.  it's a restaurant, and bar, and i think a small theatre, all decked out like a swank 30's jazz club in chicago...this is moscow's version of the green mile!  beautiful art deco lamp shades, black and white tiles on the walls, cute tables and cafe chairs, hazy amber lighting.  it was gorgeous.  and so chill.  free champagne (i drank a whole glass!!!  SHOCKING.  but i did. the bubbles bothered me a little, but i felt obligated, on my first real "night out" in russia, and at a new friend's anniversary party.  and then i had a whiskey...way more my style.  :)  there were old BW films being projected behind the stage, and a fabulous jazzy band played - all american oldies from the pre-WWII era, and some after.  the singer was fantastic.  and, get this.  in the band, there was a clarinet, and, wait for it....a BASSOON!  a bassoon.  in a jazz band.  in moscow.  life could not get any better.  we danced for hours and everyone was dressed to match the theme...20's and 30's chicago...there were flappers, and bow ties and lots of sequins and headbands and one girl with a tiny hat!  so fun.  here are some pics.  The club is called Masterskaya, which i think means something like "craft workshop."  anyway, it's a very cool place, and if i were going to run a club in moscow, this is pretty much exactly what i'd do.  a place with live music, good food, a great bar, a small theatre, and everything looking like a sexy 30's jazz club.  pretty fantastic.

the poster on the left is the advertisement for the party (the name of the club is the word in quotations...and right below is the description of the theme of the party..."chicago 20's and 30's").  my friend varvara looks pretty much exactly like the woman on the left, too.  she's very stylish.  and i won major points with the team for knowing her and bringing them to the party.  go me!

this is the stellar band.  note the BASSOON on the right.  and he's wearing red and black leopard print sunglasses.  you're beyond cool when you can rock a bassoon in sunglasses you could get at claire's boutique.  

behind the bassonist is the bass-player...on an acoustic bass.  again, what the russians can get away with...

this is us on the escalator down to the metro...from the bottom are sara (italian), diana (russian), julie-anne (canadian) and lorenzo (italian).  we got back to the hotel around 1:30, at which point lorenzo invited us to his shared suite with sara for a nightcap.  when we all arrived, he was boiling water...for pasta...that'd he'd brought from italy...with olive oil and parmesean...that he'd brought from italy.  he asked us if we wanted any...my response was "um, of course!"  when an italian is cooking pasta and asks you if you want any, you say YES.  i'm making some fine friends over here.  :)

tonight, anne and i went to the ballet!  it's not the bolshoi, this ballet company didn't throw acid on it's artistic director, no, it was a "lesser" ballet company, but amazing nonetheless.  the ballet was Anna Karenina, and it was just as devastating as the book and movie.  an amazingly detailed and beautifully choreographed performance.  very modern, but obviously heavily influenced by classical ballet.  gorgeous.  and then we went for thai food!  the restaurant was called...big surprise..."tai tai!"  tripled as a hookah lounge and karaoke bar.  most everyone was smoking a hookah (we didn't indulge), but the only people singing karaoke were the karaoke dj's.  so was kinda sad.  but the food was good, and it was nice to have some spice (well, just a bit for me obviously), and some different flavors to meat and bread and potatoes.

this afternoon brittany (canadian working in operations) and i struck out to find a cafe near the hotel.  we lucked out, and sat in a sunny window drinking espresso.  was quite relaxing, and felt almost normal!  tomorrow i think we'll do some more exploring, maybe even go to the movies!!  that will be a great accomplishment if we can figure out which cinema plays movies in their original language, get ourselves there and buy tickets.  never thought it would be a challenge to go to the movies, but it is here.

oh, and since it is officially international women's day, here are some pics of how it was celebrated in the office yesterday:

some of our male colleagues greeted us with bouquets of flowers for all of the women!

said flowers at my desk.

then, i walked away from my desk for a meeting, and returned to find this!  they had come around with a cart of champagne and tarts!  oh, and all of the video screens in the office took a break from showing ceremonies past, to show all kinds of cutsie, girly things...like montages of couples kissing, and hello kitty, and the 20th century fox logo but with the words replaced to say "girls spring here" and videos of flowers and springtime.  i could have done without the videos, but the flowers and treats were nice!  a very fun day all in all.

this is my "official" desk sign.  it's got the official sochi 2014 look and feel and font!  i love the patchwork.  i might just have to buy a jacket with that pattern on it...

ha ha!  and this is a typical sight on the streets of moscow.  this was found on our walk to a grocery store for lunch...yes, there are plenty of modern vehicles around, but on almost every street, you see these guys.  and some of them are still being driven around!  would scare the crap outta me to get in one.  this one looks like it's there for good.  this is the soviet car retirement home.

this is just for fun.  can you tell which fast food chain this is??  

off to bed now.  big hugs to you all back home.  miss you tons.  xo

   

One Month In

was just about to go to sleep when i realized that it is my one-month anniversary living in russia!  definitely a date to be marked.  it feels simultaneously like i've been here forever, and just the blink of an eye.  i suppose that is typical of very intensive experiences.  and not only am i getting used to the country, the language, but i'm also getting used to a new job.  new personalities.  new politics.  and finding my way when there really isn't a road map to follow...it's not like there is a "wrap report" from the segment producer on the last opening ceremonies!  i feel like i'm "faking it until i make it."  having never done this job before, it's a little strange.  but i've project managed, and been in similar situations, so it's not totally unfamiliar.  but it would be nice to have a job description.  on the other hand, i can kinda do what i want, and if i pretend it's what i'm supposed to be doing, people believe it!  i'm in the creative/producer dept.  so, well, anything goes, really.  and it's all about relationships.  so the majority of my time is spent getting to know people, gaining their trust, their respect.  even in social situations, like the georgian dinner...we were sizing each other up, it was as much work as it was play.  but things are starting to move a bit, i'm getting projects and learning how to build and manage the LARGEST budget i have EVER done.  like, big numbers.  bigger than i will probably EVER make, combined, in my working career.  so that's exciting!  and a lot of other things are exciting, but you're just going to have to wait to see them on Feb 7.  and also likely on the 23rd!  as i'm probably going to be working a bit on the closing ceremonies as well!  fun times!

as for learning about this country...it's a slow process.  like i've said before, i wish i could pick up the language more quickly.  it's just SO foreign.  i didn't study russian history or literature besides what they discuss in survey courses in high school.  so there is barely anything i have to go on in my past.  at least spanish and sometimes french are taught on sesame street.  those pronunciations and sounds are kinda familiar.  russian?  nah.  no way.  the liquidity of the language, the words, as people speak makes it SO hard for me to discern the specific words.  and so many words are single letters...c (or s) is "with," b (or v) is "in,"  so when they are next to words that start with the same letter, there is no separating them.  makes it hard.  and the pronunciation is difficult for me.  daily, i try to practice words that i know.  all i get are cocked heads, quizzical looks.  and then i ask how to pronounce the word, and my russian colleagues say it.  and i'm like, "yeah!  that's what i said!"  but they sadly shake their heads, or smirk a bit.  all out of love, and they like that i'm trying, so much.  but i'm not doing very well.  ha ha!  all in good time.  at least it's not chinese.  but my aunt, who speaks fluent chinese, is married to a man from taiwan, says russian is harder than chinese.  great.

anyway, i'm still very glad i'm here.  even tho, one month in, reality is setting in.  and it's hard to communicate, the wonder and the humorousness are waning...now it's just plain hard.  i feel crippled and helpless sometimes.  and i have such a newfound respect for our russian colleagues who speak english.  they have big jobs...not only are they doing their job, but they are also translating for us...and translating not just the words, but the culture, the way of doing things, the governmental "strategies" and "practices."  it is nice to be working with people who, yes, have a profound (if motivated by fear) respect for the government, but also know the reality of the kind of state they are living in.  there's no defending the motherland going on here...at least politically.

ok, didn't mean to get so wordy.  but it's a good time for reflection.  what i've learned...i can say hello, thank you, please, i don't understand, do you understand english, how to count to 10, a few colors and verbs, a few nouns here and there...i can read better than i can speak, which is amazing, cuz it's also REALLY hard to read..they have "letters" that are just indicators of how to pronounce the letter that comes before them.  but they don't actually make any sound, i think.  and then, other letters change how they are pronounced in various words, seemingly randomly to me, but i'm sure there's logic.  i'm starting with a russian language tutor next week and i can hardly wait.  the overachiever in me is dying a little bit right now that i haven't mastered hardly anything!  :)  so this is a good lesson for me, or rather good practice in patience and going easy on myself.  i just don't want to walk away from here, having been here a year, and only know please and thank you and how to count to 10.  i was in paris a week and i could communicate WAY more.  (tho they also smirked and gave me quizzical looks...).

anyway, time for bed.  likely doing more budgeting tomorrow, which means i need a clear head.  and i'll probably make some flashcards.  i'll never stop being an overachiever.  :)

goodnight to all my lovely friends and family back home wherever you are.  please send warm thoughts my way, as i try to make my home (if temporary) here in this crazy big foreign land.  love to you all.  xo

Weekending in Moscow

sorry for the absence.  last week was pretty busy with meetings in the evenings, so i didn't get a lot of sleep, and i ended up going out for lengthy dinners this past weekend, so i pretty much slept all day on sunday.  it's exhausting living in a different country...everything takes effort.  and i never know what surprise awaits.  yesterday evening i got accosted in the grocery store by the check-out clerk...turns out she was scolding me for not having taken the price tag off of the reuseable bag i purchased a few weeks ago, making her think i just purchased it today.  thank goodness there was another store patron who spoke english and could translate for me.  but it was unnerving being yelled at in a language you don't know, while holding up the line of people who just want to buy some chicken and vegetables and get home to dinner.  everything is an adventure i supposes.

anyway, so here are some pics from the various social activities i've managed to do between evening meetings.  ok, so we didn't ice skate on the weekend, as the title of this blog suggests, but i include it as it was a social activity.

ice skating in gorky park!!  it's just as touristy as it sounds.  like ice skating in central park, if they have iced over some of the pathways in addition to a rink.  you can skate up to cafes and kiosks selling food, tea, wine, etc.  very fun.  and very expensive.  like everything in this city.  but still a pretty darn good time.

This is a soup kiosk.  it's not on the skating route, but fun none-the-less.

the skating rink.

sasha, liza, and beckie skating away.

sasha, beckie, liza, and mike, in the kiddie rink.  the penguins are used by little kids to help them learn to skate.  and are just so darn cute!

the group of us.

in the snow outside the rink.  

next up...a georgian meal.  ok.  so we got invited (and treated) to a georgian feast by our russian exec producer.  he arranged for cars to pick us up from the hotel, and take us to this place.  and this place, the restaurant, looked like it was straight out of epcot center.  "welcome to georgia-land!" it should have said.  it was crazy.  a big themed restaurant with cobblestones outside and inside...waterfalls, fish pond, big barrels and big wooden tables and balconies and fire places.  disneyland.  oh!  and there were roving musicians, and roving dancers dressed in black silk costumes.  they were supposed to be dance-fighting over a girl, but the girl never showed up for her part of the dance, so they were just dance-fighting, i guess.  but the dancing was so intense.  angular, stomping, twirling, sashay-ing, emotional intensity.  the roving singers were beautiful...accoustic with a guitar.  and all the russians at the table knew the songs.  apparently, the georgian tradition is to eat, and sing, and drink and eat and sing and drink and eat and sing and drink all night long.  if we knew the songs, it would have been perfect!  we ate and drank enough, that's for sure.  courses of food kept coming,  and we drank wine and special mineral water that is illegal in russia because diplomatic relations with georgia are not so good.  so you can only find those beverages in the restaurant.  and cha-cha...the georgian grappa.  our glasses were never empty.  it was a long night.  but a fun one.  a bit overwhelming at times...but a good chance to get to know our russian producers.  it was quite dark, so i couldn't get good picks of the dancing, unfortunately.  but just think silky, twirling ninjas and you about have it.

the outside entrance to the restaurant. you pretty much enter the mouth of the barrel.  see?  epcot center.

round one of food.

toward the end of round 8 or 9.

the roving musicians!

dessert.

a close-up of the fried fish, very traditional.  you can eat the heads and tails, but i skipped that part.  the bread in the background has cheese in it, topped with a fried egg.  i feel for the arteries of these people!

another pic of the outside of the restaurant.  it's a huge place.

i was hoping for a more laid-back evening on saturday night, and i guess i got it, but at quite a price.  i agreed to go to a group dinner at a fish restaurant in the same complex as the hotel.  first of all, i ignored the cardinal rule of group dinners (you inevitable spend MORE than if you paid on your own cuz everyone splits it) and the cardinal rule of eating with people on per diem (generally people on per diem get expensive bottles of wine).  it ultimately was a nice dinner, the fish was excellent - they roasted a whole one for the table (they brought it to the table to show it off...one might say "upsell") and we bought in.  they encrusted it with sea salt, and stuffed it with potatoes, tomatoes, olives, etc.  super yummy.   but it cost a couple of day's worth of per diem.  oh well.  thank goodness bfast and dinners are more or less provided at the hotel.  

Anyway, here is our waiter, after having set the fish on fire at the table, more like a dramatic display than anything to do with the actual cooking.  but they spoke enough english and were extremely pleasant with good senses of humor.  a good night out.

and then on sunday night, i attempted cooking.  i succeeded and failed.  i succeeded in picking out what i thought were uncooked breaded chicken cutlets.  i was right!  and i pan-seared them (i have 2 burners and about just as many pots) so they were tasty and juicy inside.  i failed, however, to figure out what the grain was that i previously thought was couscous.  i think it's closer to quinoa, but more exactly that either.  so that took a really long time.  i added some curry and some dried fruits (bonus points if anyone can tell me what fruit dries emerald green...) but it took too long so i just re-heated pasta and sauce and made my own make-shift chicken parm (without the parm).

it's like learning to cook all over again.  learning to do everything all over again.  having to do laundry in my bathroom sink cuz the hotel charges too much, and we haven't figured out a proper and reliable laundry service elsewhere.  having to buy very simple things at the grocer, things with pictures on them so i know what they are (except, i guess, quinoa/couscous).  having to learn a new map, with new names in a new language.  having to learn new routines at the office (like everyone wears outdoor boots to the office, then changes into heeled nice boots in the office; and you have to bring in your own coffee beans; and the russians don't come in until around 11, and don't eat lunch until 2 or so).  and watching wierd english movies, cuz there's only one non-news station that is in english.  and not being able to call home when i want.  and printing on A4 paper...that is the wierdest size, i'm telling you.  and not being able to drink the water, so i'm constantly worried that i'm poisoning myself when i take a shower (ok, that's a bit dramatic, but it's more of a concern than showering in PC anyway).  learning how to order a coffee.  but it will all come in time.  it's just all really, really different now.  and i think it might be more alarming cuz it's so similar, it's just a little bit different, and that little bit can feel like a lot sometimes.  especially when my brain refuses to see a "p" as an "r" or a backwards "R" as "ya."  sigh.  again, it will all come in time.  just like the twirling georgian dancers.  when you least expect it, there they are, delighting and shocking you all at once.